Ben Taylor

So, I’ve decided to compile a list of things I don’t understand. Because why not?

1- Dudes wearing eyeliner.
Seriously guys. Even if it expresses you personality in ways no one but you can understand, even if it’s there to make your eyes stand out and be “darkly unique”, IT STILL MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A CHICK!

2- 70’s and 80’s hard rock.
Tight leather jeans, angry vocals, large hair, top hats…None of it makes any sense! But I listen to it anyway. I said I don’t understand it, not that I don’t like it. Duh.

3- All Native Basketball Tournaments.
Really though. Isn’t the whole concept a little…I dunno…Racist? Seriously. What do you think would happen if people tried to start an All White Basketball Tournament? There would be a huge shitstorm over that one. Man. And don’t even get me started on All Hispanic Basketball Tournaments…

4- Kids under the age of 10 with Youtube channels.
Hey listen dudes. And chicks. Until you can learn to articulate and lose some of that baby chubb, nobody’s gonna give a damn about your take on Modern Warfare 2. Or PS3’s. Or Sarah Palin. Or Unicorns. Or gay marriage. You get the point though. (I don’t think anyone gives a damn about anybody’s take on gay marriage anymore though.)

5- People over the age of 50 with Youtube channels.
See above paragraph…But replace baby chubb with sweater vest, MW2 with your daffadilz, and you still can’t articulate, ’cause you’z got no teeth.

6- That lesson in planning where they show you how to put a condamn on a bannana. WTF.
When it comes to it, I think putting on a condom is pretty straight forwards. Or straight upwards. Hur hur hur.

That’s it, that’s pretty much all I don’t understand in the whole universe. Dang, I’m smart.

Ladies and Gents, (and anything else in between,) I am sitting in Vancouver airport now, coming to you live (when I wrote this) after a 5-week vacation in Greece/Italy. I don’t feel like fleshing out all the wet, humid, semi-nude details, but it was pretty awesome. Look forward to the awesome documentary I will make with footage I got on the trip. Chow!

Almost there! Two days until Greece people! Plus the weird overlapping timezones that I refuse to account for in my calculations. Anyway, early tomorrow morning we’re striking out for Vancouver and glory. Or Langley. Whichever comes first. But after an exhausting car ride, I’m kicking back and listening to my sister rock some fiddle. Life is good, aye? BTW, temp. is well above thirty degrees here. Celsius. Hallelujah!

In case you haven’t already heard, Paul the octopus picked Spain to win the FIFA World Cup over the Netherlands. This guy has been six for six in his predictions. The Spanish prime minister, Jose Luiz Rodriguez, joked about sending the octopus a team of bodyguards, as the cephalopod has recived numerous death threats from angry fans. What kind of tool threatens to kill an octopus? Anyway folks, check him out on Youtube.

Well, the FIFA 2010 World Cup South Africa is almost over. Which means the long-awaited final match is nigh, between Netherlands and Spain. Should be a good match. (I really have no idea) It also means we don’t have to put up with anymore vuvuzela jokes, refrences, or Youtube mockery. Although there are a few good ones out there too. I only watched one game, where Argentina beat Mexico 3-1. Good match actually. The thing about watching football (yes, I insist on calling it that) is that I don’t have to root for any particular team. Unless Ireland is playing.
*snicker snicker*

As you may have guessed, I am currently enjoying my spring break. Well, not so far, as it’s been pretty much nothing but driving, but hey, it’ll get better. Right now I’m at my grandparent’s in Cache Creek. In a while we’ll be in Kelowna. But until then, I’ll be maxin’ and relaxin’. Woot!

As I was doing my usual afternoon contemplation of the general universe on the bus this afternoon, a thought struck me. With a rake. It hurt. This thought screamed at me “WHAT THE HELL IS WITH CLOTHES?!!?” This idea-provoking  and extremely violent thought got me thinking. Why do we wear clothes? To cover up our nakedidity? Ah, but Adam and Eve didn’t worry about that did they, until Mr. Serpent was all like “Oi! Clothes!” Did you know “Eden” translates to “Garden of Convinently Located Bushes”? True story. But back to clothes. Do we wear them for a sense of identity? I like to think so. Me, I enjoy wearing ties. Nobody else wears ties. I’m “That weird awesome kid who wears ties all the time” at school. (Or “the kid with the freaky hole in his chest”) This gives me a sense of identity. I fell different from all the jean-and-T-shirt goons out there. Pop-culture seems to discourage individuality. I’ve always tried to go against the…mold? Stroke? Grain. There we go. What about you? How do you dress? Humbly? Provocatively? Like a gangsta? Wangsta? Delecious-emo-guitar-playing-ninja? …’Cause I know a few of those.

Well, it’s been about a month since I posted, (again) and a lot has happened. (Again…?)

I have indeed succeeded in my set goal of one electrified guitar. I bought an Epiphone Les Paul Standard at the Long And McQuade in Kamloops, for $600.00. Absolutely worth every penny. Rusty Badger and The Goddess bought me a Vox 15W Amp as a birthday present, and I’ve been having a blast with both.

Then there’s school. Grade 10, For The Win! I’ve got Science with one Mr. P. Cloutier, (a blast, as always, that guy’s amazing) English with Ms. Grey (She is very nice!) Foods with Ms. Faber (who loves me) and Drama, again with Ms. Grey. A pretty awesome lineup for the first semester.

That’s about it for now, look forward to more. When, I can’t say. XD

Holy CRAP!

Anyway….                                                                                                                     I thought it was about time to update my blog again. Again. Wow. Lot’s has been going on in my life. I and spending the summer in Cache Creek, working a job, attracting ladies, and having a good time. The job is so I can get money for a guitar. Like, a NEW guitar. An Electrified guitar. *Cue applause*

I’m really enjoying being out of school. I got an A in english, and failed math epically…But that was because my teacher was an Asshat. But you didn’t hear that from me, right? Quite a few awesome teachers I want to get next year, so I’m kinda pumped for that. But! Starting next school year, I’m a senior at Skeena! I can INTIMIDATE the grade Eights. Ahahah.

Well, I’ll try to be a lot more regular from now on…

Have I said that before?

Well, it’s been absoulte eons since I last posted, but I now have a heck of a lot to write about. I’m out of school, hopefully getting a job this summer, am building a bushball course in my backyard…The usual. Final exams were a kick in the nuts, but I think I did okay on them. (82% on my Socials final, w00t.) Science was lamer, but I think it was all right…

Anyway, now that I’m free, I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing, looking forward to spending the summer in Cache Creek with my grandparents.

Thanks for putting up with my laziness and absence-of-posts!